Annada Marie Vergo

Lauren has been Annada’s awesome nanny for the last year (and two more days before becoming a YearOne intern!).

Lauren is a woman of many talents including journalism, photography and cutting hair. So when we heard Lauren was cutting hair at our church’s community market, we decided to take Annada to get a haircut that would be cooler in the heat.

At first Annada was all about it. But when she was done and saw her hair on the ground she started to cry.

“Why, Mommy? Why would you do that to me?” she cried.

I could see that the situation was going to get worse as people started coming over to check out what was happening (Annada’s haircut had attracted onlookers). So I took her inside to go to the bathroom.

She cried all the way to the restroom and then continued to shake her head and ask me, “Why mommy? Why did you do this?!” as she looked in the mirror. I was beginning to have some major guilt for cutting her hair.

Suddenly she stopped. She shook her head again and watched it whirl around her cheeks. She paused. She shook her head again. “I like it!” she exclaimed.

From that moment on, Annada was all smiles about her new haircut.

We went on to have a blast at the market. We danced together to the band, checked out the artisan booths and ate from a local food truck.

The market had a community art project inviting people write about something in their life that broke them and invited them to ask God to redeem it. I pulled out a tile and write a note about the pain of infertility. Then Annada came up behind me and wanted to write something on my tile too. She took out a black marker and started scribbling. She covered over every word I had written.

The moment hit me as profound. Here I was honoring pain of my barrenness and my daughter was drawing over it. I wept, thanking God for his graciousness to me. Then Annada and I took a hammer and smashed the tile. A piece flew up and cut the back of my hand. I think that is fitting too.

The pieces we broke were then picked up by artists and placed into a beautiful mural.

Our church changed service times for the summer, but we missed the announcement. So we showed up for church almost an hour early (this has never happened before). The kids director told us we could play in Annada’s classroom until other people showed up.

Annada is in a new room now, so she had new toys to explore. Right away she gathered all the babies and took them potty (feeding babies, patting them on the back, taking them potty and putting them to sleep is Annada’s take on motherhood). Then she saw a play motorcycle. Right away she knew what to do. “Come on baby! We need to go shopping,” she said as she picked one up.

She held the baby in one arm and play food in the other and began zooming around the room and honking. It was a perfect imitation of Africa!

Annada is blessed to be surrounded by older girls in our neighborhood who adore her! Daniela and Dayanara are her favorites. They made a “sisters” club and asked Annada to be in it. Annada takes her new status very seriously. Many times she wakes up in the morning and tells us, “I miss my sisters! I want to go play with my sisters.”

We visited my brother William, Lucy and 4-month-old Isaiah (pics when I get them!) recently. While we were gone Annada talked for 4 days about how she was excited to go and see her sisters when we got home. The first morning we were home, she ate breakfast and hurried to get ready to go see them. I heard Marc leave with her and smiled knowing how happy she was…

A few minutes later I heard Annada crying in pain. I rushed downstairs to see if Marc needed help. I found Annada in his arms, head buried in his shoulder crying like her heart was broken. It wasn’t angry or manipulative or rebellious, just a soul jarring cry. Marc had tears in his eyes too.

Annada had rushed over to find out Daniela and Dayanara were grounded. He said she walked away, got about 10 feet and then broke down. Marc and I held her together and let her sort through her disappointment. Every day Annada checked back until at last they were free to come over again.

Playing outside together.

When we got back from Africa, Marc and I were so grateful for America, we had two 4th of July parties! One on July 4th and one on July 5th.

Annada was not a firework fan. Sparklers and the ash snakes were her favorites. She decided all on her own she needed sunglasses to protect her eyes.

Annada showing off her Africa moves 🙂

Today Annada and I left home around 3 pm for WDW’s boardwalk. The parking guard waved us through then glanced back at Annada and stopped us. “Can I get her some stickers?” she asked.

Armed with Mickey Mouse stickers we parked and started walking. We had 3 hours to make it to dinner and I was excited to go the whole way at Annada’s pace.

It paid off right away. We stopped to admire a bush and a family of white birds walked out. They were beautiful and Annada was in awe. A couple of yards later we checked out a spider’s web. And then the reeds in the water. It was the way Annada has always wanted to do WDW, but we normally don’t have the time.

Then we caught a boat and took it the long way around to the Swan and Dolphin resort. Annada and I spent the 20 minutes chatting about everything she saw. She is in full “why” mode and she had a zillion questions about the lighthouse, the flower sculptures, the people, the boats…

When we got to the resort, we went to the Dolphin side first. Again, we checked out everything on the way: the dead worm, ants, different leaves… It was sublime to walk with her with absolutely nothing to hurry for. We threw pennies in the fountain and rode the escalator until she wanted to stop.

Then we went to a self-serve restaurant and got drinks (it was 99 degrees!). Since it was a special day I let Annada get chocolate milk. I want to treasure these days – when I can be a hero for a $1 carton of milk.

Then we went to the game room. We had just walked in and were standing in the entrance while Annada took it all in when a mom came rushing in behind us. “We have to go now,” she firmly told a boy and picked up his pile of coins.

“Here, we are leaving,” she said as she dumped them in my hands.

So Annada ran around picking out cars to drive together. We aren’t very good at car racing games, but we had a lot of fun.

Then we headed to the Swan side and played kitty, doggy and tag by a fountain in a garden.

It was time for dinner, so Annada I headed to the bathroom and she dressed up in her princess dress. As soon as it went on she started singing “10 Minutes Ago” and dancing. Everywhere we walked we heard the buzz about how adorable she looked. One little boy stopped in amazement, “Mom, there is a princess here!” he yelled.

We walked to the restaurant and a man at the door bowed low and said, “Welcome, your majesty.” Annada and I were both beaming.

Annada didn’t eat much because she was too in awe of the characters (although she loved my lobster). Chip and Dale were there and she spent most of the hour watching their every move. When they got close she would suddenly grab her fork and start focusing on her food, causing them to give her space. I knew something was off so I tried to figure it out. “Do you want to feed the chipmunks, Annada?” “Yes, I do,” she seriously replied.

Fortunately, Dale overheard her and came back. Annada “fed” him some mac n cheese. This is so classic Annada, she loves to feed people and animals! She gets upset if she thinks someone or something is hungry.

Star struck

After dinner we went to the playground on the resort beach. It was shaped like a boat and Annada directed us on grand adventures to new lands (one with a pretend carousel). Then she “cooked” soup for me in the sand.

Finally I scooped her up and we started walking home. “Did you have a good day?” I asked her as she rode on my shoulders. “I did!” she replied.

(As a bonus, Groupon plus WDW knowledge = $11.12 for the evening including chocolate milk.)

On the way home, she came up with other ideas of things we could do. “I don’t want to go to bed!” she cried. “There is lots and lots to do!”

A little after 10 pm I rocked and sang to her as I always do before bed. She was asleep before the first song was ended, so I sat there and rocked a few minutes longer and thanked God. This is a day I dreamed about when having a daughter seemed like an impossibility. And it is even sweeter than I hoped.

The last week in Africa was a flurry of food, hugs and kisses.

First we had a party for our friends. One highlight was sitting around in a big circle singing English pop songs together while Aicel played guitar. Even if someone didn’t know English, they did know Black Eyed Peas!

The idea to pose eating was theirs :).

Then we had dinner with a different family each night. Each family made a dish they thought I had really liked. The family above made two dinners!! Marc and I had no idea. We ate with half of the family and they served my favorite foods. I ate until I thought I would burst because I knew they had worked so hard for me. As I finished, my friend said, “Make sure you leave room for couscous.”

I must have looked alarmed because the family burst out laughing. The other side of her family wanted to serve us dinner too and were waiting in a apartment upstairs with another meal! (The meal pictured is meal #2.)

We also ate with Sanaa, Kamal and Doaa. It was hard to say goodbye to these friends. Doaa is Annada’s first real friend. I will never forget watching them crawl around pretending to be cats and cuddling together. (At least Annada was, Doaa might have had a different animal in mind.)

Sanaa waving goodbye as we walked away.

Our trip home was literally trains, planes and automobiles. We left our apartment early in the morning and rode a taxi to the train station. Took the train about an hour to the airport. Flew to JFK. Got in a van and drove to a conference in Washington DC. It took roughly 24 hours.

The worst part by far was the drive to DC. We started at 7 pm local time or midnight in Africa. It then took almost 8 hours to drive to our hotel. The car seat for Annada didn’t have straps to keep her in the seat so we had to rig it up with the seat belt. It was really a booster seat, so it sat almost straight up.

In this picture at the beginning of the drive it looked like I was able to wedge her in enough that she could sleep. But that only lasted an hour. It was so uncomfortable that she started crying in her sleep. I spent the rest of night holding her head up and my back and arms were numb quickly. Ugh. But I tell you this so that you can understand how amazing Annada is. Despite everything, the only time she cried was in her sleep.

Our team. We took this picture just before our last meal together.

Playing in the snow.

What would you do if it was 100+ degree inside and no one was watching you?

When Meme and I had our backs turned Annada stole into the bathroom, unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper, pulled it all onto my bed, took off her clothes and began jumping in the “snow!”

Afterward, we decided that the hours it kept her happy was well worth the price of a roll (there was very little room or toys for her to play). So Annada ended up using toilet paper for everything – play food, clothes and, of course, snow.

Marc performed magic tricks in homes constantly. It was an amazing way to build relationships and bring together extended families without needed a permit to perform.

Annada called Aicel her “fairy godmother” because Aicel would dress her up in her clothes to “go to the ball.” Just today Annada told me she is sad because her fairy godmother is in Africa (and not with her).

Annada and I going out with Sanaa and Doaa. This is the elevator at our apartment.

I took this picture from a hotel. Notice the traffic – there are 4 lanes but 6 cars across! That was a road we frequently played “leapfrog” across.

Grace and I met these college women for pizza. At first I thought the tall one was dressed up in black for religious reasons… nope. It is because she loves heavy metal!

So… I know we have been home for a couple of weeks… but I still feel bizarre. Like either Africa was a dream or life in America is. It’s taken me a long time to feel ready to look at the pictures again, but I think it is time. So the next couple of posts are in memory of our life changing summer.

In front of the Cascades

Halfway through our trip we took a 3-day break to another city. Wow. It was an amazing experience. We ended up accidentally experiencing political change first-hand. At one point I saw thousands of college students dancing in the street and waving their flag with joy at 1 AM over freedoms I have taken for granted. It was breath taking.

I also had a “National Geographic” experience.

Yes - the sun and the desert.

Some friends convinced me to take a 3-hour taxi ride to the cascades. Internally I went back and forth on if I should go. 140+ degree heat (yes, for real) with 6 people in a small taxi for 3 hours with no air conditioning and an upset stomach. Is anything really worth that?

We drove through small towns, passed nomadic women fully covered in black while herding sheep, ran over a small dog (and were chased by it’s owner with a scythe) and I discovered a whole new low in gas station toilets.

But all my internal grumbling vanished when suddenly the desert turned into mountains and met an emerald forest. The colors were so deep they seemed surreal. When we walked out, we were in front of the most beautiful natural waterfall. There were no signs or safety measures and there were wild monkeys in the trees. Untouched beauty.

After leaving our taxi driver at a cafe, we decided to figure out how to get down the mountain without a guide. So we forded across the river above the waterfall and then plunged straight down the mountain. The locals make money by being guides, so they purposefully obscure the way down. But the few people we met were so impressed a white person spoke Arabic (not me), they helped us anyway – much to the anger of a guide who followed us a short way waiting for us to give up.

These boys put holes in the bag and catch fish as they come down. Then they ran after me wanting money for taking their picture. Brilliant - catching fish and tourist at the same time.

This is where it gets amazing.

When we made it down the mountain we found pools created by the waterfall as it continued to cascade down the mountain. The men swam around and found a good place to swim, so we walked around and found a restaurant built over the side of the pool. This is where we met hippies. They were so hospitable and invited us to sit and relax.

Tea at the waterfall

Then, one of the men told us we could climb the waterfall by us, jump into the pool and then use rocks on the side to push/swim back under the fall.. to find a natural cave! With a spring inside!

So after jumping the waterfall (which was scarier than I expected because you can’t walk up to the edge, I had to jump past it) and swimming like mad, I found myself overlooking a mountain from behind a waterfall, surrounded by flowers growing on the walls of a natural cave next to a spring bubbling like a fountain out of the water!!

It is moments like that I remember thinking about everything Marc and I “give up.” And I am reminded that God is one amazing Dad! We certainly have an abundant life.

These monkeys look cute - but they are mean! One bit me.

While I was out in paradise, Marc, Meme and Annada were enjoying the city. They took a horse-drawn carriage ride, checked out monkeys and snakes and Meme bought Annada a belly dancing dress.

In the next picture Annada is clawing at Marc to get away. Smart girl.

Marc became a huge date fan.

Annada learned some belly dancing moves from Doaa.

Riding back to our apartment on the train.

We toured the US Capitol Building Friday.

We are home! We landed in Orlando yesterday after noon at 4 pm. Originally we had planned on hiding for a few days after returning to recover. But instead we are getting ready to celebrate.

Marc and I have a whole new appreciation for the United States of America. We loved so much about Africa, but this is Independence Day, so today I celebrate you, America!

I took a lot for granted. Like being able to see the Capitol Building – in Africa the places of state were surrounded by tall concrete walls with guards to make sure you didn’t get too close. While security may have been a small factor, but the message was a clear seperation between the royals and the people.

Meme's favorite place

I’ve cried a lot in the last few days (granted, I’m tired). Why? When I got in my car and there was a worship CD on. I could play it as loud as I wanted. I could tell anyone about it. I can believe in Jesus or flying monkeys and no one is going to jail for what I believe. My marriage is legal and my custody of Annada is secure.

I saw a Mosque in DC. I am proud it is there. No one stood at the door with a stick to make sure only international visitors went in.

I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it. Voltaire

Marc, Annada, Meme, Grace and I visited our Congresswoman’s office. WE elected her. Her office was to serve us. I may not approve of everything she does – but that is just it. I can disapprove, loudly even if I want.

House of Representatives

There are a lot of other things I love about my country. Things I took for granted like an aisle of cereal, being able to call 9-11, a servant-minded police force and multiple toilets in one house. But the freedom to think and believe whatever I want trumps them all.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

United Stated Constitution

Amen. May God bless America.