Annada Marie Vergo

The Ballet Queen dances wherever she goes.

As I opened my eyes Annada put her face right up to mine, “Wake up mommy,” she said softly.

Then she held up some butterfly wings for me to take. “I am Strawberry Kate, the ballet queen,” she continued. “Here is a gift from the ballet queen – your angel wings. You are an angel and your name is Anna.”

I’m seeing Jennie Joseph for my prenatal care, a woman who should be deemed a saint one day. Several years ago Jennie determined to see any woman who showed up at her clinic regardless of finances, despite almost going into bankruptcy several times. She sees paying patients roughly 2 days a week and loves on moms-to-be 7 days a week. Many of those women have never had prenatal care before.

Plus the women’s hospital in Orlando frequently calls her when women show up in labor without any family or support, sometimes without speaking a word of English either. Jennie and as many volunteers as she can find get translators on skype and hold these precious women’s hands as they welcome their babies.

Even though Jennie has delivered thousands of babies, she cried when Annada was born. Somehow every baby and mom is precious to her. It’s worth going to my appointments just for the smile and hug I get when I show up. Geesh. Did I mention she should be up for sainthood?

I took Annada for my an appointment a few weeks ago. When I asked Jennie if that would be okay she said, “Oh goodness yes, I love my junior midwives.” So I told Annada she could be my junior midwife, something Annada took very seriously. When we got ready to go Annada made sure to bring her stethoscope.

When we showed up the waiting room Annada’s eyes lit up when she saw the dolls, wraps and books for her to play with. “They do like kids here,” she told me.

When Jennie came, she taught Annada to do everything she did, including listen and record the baby’s heartbeat (using a Doppler, the stethoscope was just used because Annada brought it). Jennie beamed the whole time, calling Annada one of “my babies.”

Later that day Annada told me we didn’t need to see Jennie anymore, she could be my midwife. “When the baby comes I will get a basket and put something really soft in it to catch the baby,” she said.

Learning to skate

My theory is that Floridians overcompensate for the lack of snow at Christmas. Lights, fake snow, 4 real skating rinks, about 12 versions of the Nutcracker, zillions of Christmas parties… we celebrate!

We went to my team party Thursday, Marc’s team party Friday morning, a company party Friday night, breakfast with Santa at the YMCA Saturday morning, took Sunday and Monday off (not for lack of options), went to 2 parties today and will take Annada to see Santa at my chiropractor’s office tomorrow. Annada has started asking before before bed “What parties will we go to tomorrow, Mommy?”

At this morning’s party the big surprise was… “ice” skating in 80 degrees! Annada has been asking to go ice skating so it was an awesome treat. I wasn’t sure if she would really enjoy it, but she did great. Marc and Annada skated on basically a giant cutting board sprayed down with water. It worked well except for the people trying to do jump turns. I think she would probably do great on ice.

Annada guessed there would be music at this party, so she decided she wanted to wear her “singing outfit” (self-named) and sing at the party. (Just to be clear, this was 100% her idea.) She was a little miffed they had music playing with singers already on. But then the power went out and she got a chance to sing. She got a little song and dance out then seemed to change her mind. A few minutes later I took her back to my desk so I could sit down.

She curled up under my legs. I asked what was happening. She said there were too many people and she wanted to hide for a while. We were both very content for about 5 minutes, just sitting by ourselves, recharging. Once she was done though, she went back out and didn’t want to leave even when people started cleaning up!

Friday night’s party was even more fun – they had bubble snow and a real snow area to play in! Annada and I hung out in the bubble snow for about 20 minutes. And the snow area… Annada immediately started a snow ball fight. She could not stop grinning as she picked up snow and aimed at us. I think she only had a 3 minute turn, but I am glad because I couldn’t breathe I was laughing so hard.

This face means trouble!

In between the parties, Annada has been wound up but so much fun. We told her it was her job to care for the nativity sets. So every day she spends about 30 minutes setting up elaborate stories combining the pieces of different sets. Todays story centered around everyone taking turns to see the baby Jesus. All the people lined up for their chance.

She also has a paper chain counting down until she sees Grandma and Grandpa, a Christmas countdown and special ornaments we put on the tree. We fill them with popcorn and she hunts for them. Once she’s eaten the popcorn she puts them on the counter for us to refill.

Today after rest time she told me she wanted to play God. “Be dead in the tomb,” she told me. “My bed is the tomb.”

I laid down and she told me she was Mary. She went to the bathroom and filled two bowls with water and came back to wash my body. Just as she got close I sat up and said, “Mary, I am alive! Now you can live with me in heaven forever.”

Annada gave me a long hug. Then she walked away and paused for a moment. She walked back and gave me another long hug and another.

“What do you think God would tell me?” Annada asked. “I think He would say, ‘I love you with a never-giving up, always and forever, unbreakable love, Annada. I made you on purpose and you bring me joy.'” I told her.

Annada curled up in my arms for a long time and just sat there.

After a few minutes her mischievous smile came back and she started climbing all over me pretending I am a jungle gym. The moment was over but I always wonder what she is thinking in those times.

Beginning to understand the overcompensating?

Annada thinks a lot about her baby brother/sister too. She picked out a stocking for the little one and has already started saying things like “next Christmas we will have a baby!” She talks and sings to my belly.

At night she often prays that the baby would be born tomorrow. I’ve explained that it is better to wait until the baby is done growing in my tummy. So now she prays “God, please make the baby grow really fast so he can come out tomorrow!”

(PS: I’ll keep updating this post, there is a lot missing!)

I am sorry I have been so ROTTEN about posting. I’ve been pretty sick the last 3 months. Okay, really, horribly sick. But I’m not complaining – I’m pregnant!

7 Week Ultrasound

Right now I am 17 weeks pregnant and the baby is the size of a sweet potato. A few times a day I can feel the baby kick or spin around (at least that is how it feels). I am so very, very grateful.

Triple checking!

We found out on August 30, 2012. Marc and I had both pretty much given up hope that I would get pregnant again. In April I had surgery and found out I have tubal disease. My doctor told me “It would take a miracle for you to get pregnant. But you already have one miracle, so no one can tell you for sure.”

Warning, this post is going to have a lot of pictures. In this case, I think they tell the story better than words.

After seeing that blessed second red line (3 times – we were afraid to trust one!) we called my doctor’s office and went in for a blood test. I know the nurse was laughing at us for taking a picture of a blood draw but I’ve probably given blood over 100 times in hopes of conceiving. This was the one time I don’t want to forget! I think most of the staff were there to give us hugs and cheer for us. Some nurses even popped their heads around the corner and said, “I just wanted to see you!”

Once we got back the comparative HCG results and everything looked good we decided to tell Annada. We both struggled with when to tell her in case we lost the baby. But if that did happen, we didn’t want to be sad and have her not know why either.

Plus it seemed like Annada already knew. She had been praying for over a year for God to give us another baby. We never encouraged her to pray for a sister or brother. We knew the odds were low, so her prayers broke my heart. Then, around the beginning of August Annada started thanking God for the baby instead. I didn’t know what to say but I told Annada I didn’t think there was a baby. She just stared at me, like I was saying the sky was green.

A few weeks later I was walking up the stairs with her when she pulled up my shirt. “I can’t see the baby!” she exclaimed. “Annada there is no baby,” I said. Again, she just stared at me. I got her playing some games then went up in my room to cry. It hurt so bad that she wanted a brother or sister.

Mr. Pail is giving Annada the first clue, to go look in the sandbox.

After all that, I was excited to tell Annada there really was a baby. She loved Blues Clues, so we set up a Blues Clues game. First we had pancakes for breakfast, her favorite. Marc put a face on a pail to make Mr. Pail. After breakfast Mr. Pail asked Annada if she wanted to play Blues Clues and sent her to the sandbox where she found glue sticks and a note asking her to make a book to put on the fridge.

Hard at work on her book.

Once the book was made we went over to the fridge to find the first Blue’s clue. It was a picture of our family.

Annada then carefully drew a picture of our family in her thinking notebook. She tried to guess but had no idea what the clue meant yet.

Then she found a note on the polar bears. “Please read us a special story,” it said.

Annada went over to the bookshelf to find another Blue’s clue. It was a book called, “God Gave Us Two.” We already had “God Gave Us You.” We read the book together (complete with my tears) and then Annada drew a picture of the book in her notebook.

Then Annada found a note next to one of her dolls. “Ouch! My foot hurts,” it said. Annada got her doctor stuff and fixed up the doll. Once the doll was all better he told her to go upstairs and check out Mommy’s tummy too.

I had run upstairs and was lying down when Annada came in ready to play doctor. She lifted up my shirt to find the last clue on my tummy.

She drew a picture of my belly and then jumped in our chair to think. “Family, story, belly, hmmm,” she said over and over, just like in Blue’s Clues. She made a couple random guesses, but I figured she was being coy.

“Annada, do you know what we are trying to say?” I asked. And Marc caught the exact moment above, “You have a baby in your tummy!” she said.

At first she seemed happy. But then she got kind of mellow. “How do you feel about being a big sister?” I asked.

Crying for a few minutes about being displaced.

Really quietly she said, “I am afraid no one will like me when the new baby comes.” I realized she had been thinking about this for a few weeks. Annada balled up in my arms and cried for a few minutes. When she stopped we reassured her that we will always love her and she seemed relieved.

Now Annada has fully embraced being a big sister. I let her pick out a big sister shirt and Leanne bought her one too. They are her favorites. And often when I walk into a room of people Annada will jump in front of me and loudly announce, “You have to be gentle to my mom. There is a baby in her tummy!”

Today we celebrated Annada turning 4 with her neighborhood friends. It’s the first of three parties (neighborhood, family and school friends). I’m overcompensating pretty determined that being a December baby won’t leave her feeling uncelebrated.

Annada greeted all her guests with balloons for the games.

We started with Marc making balloon hats and then leading some balloon games. He was awesome. This is where having a dad who is professional performer and has his own sound system pays off. He had the kids run through an obstacle course then throw a balloon spear through a loop. As they did the sound system made sounds to show the kids were charging the music and then set off an alarm when the charge was done – kicking off a dance party.

Going through the obstacle course.

Then we had dinner (Annada’s favorites: Mac n cheese, lasagna, watermelon, carrots and ranch) and cake. Before eating, one of the girls asked if she could use the microphone to say something to Annada. She talked about how much she loves Annada. Which set off all 16 kids wanting to tell Annada something they liked about her or that they loved her. Annada seemed pretty interested in the cake, but it was my favorite moment!

Last were Annada’s two favorite parts: the mythical piñata and presents. Annada had asked for two things at her party, dancing and a piñata. Annada picked out a pirate piñata.

I suspected the piñata was not going to be smashed when she started sleeping with it. Then Annada started bargaining – maybe we could hit it gently? Hold it up so high no one could reach it?

So today the piñata stayed safely at home and Marc threw candy out. They we let Annada eat every piece she collected. I don’t think she thought we would really let her do it because she hid in the corner of the pool away from everyone else and ate it all as fast as she could. When I asked her at bed what her favorite part of the day was she told me, “Eating every piece of my candy!”

Singing Happy Birthday – in English and Spanish, of course! Marc tried to get everyone to sing in German but it didn’t work ;).

Annada’s presents were art supplies and princess stuff – her friends know her well. Plus one extremely cute tutu outfit. Pretty much every present came with a handmade card. Some of the girls had even gotten together yesterday and had a card making party for today.

Marc and I high fived on the way home as Annada ran around us, still sugar high. Marc is already in bed regaining some energy. I’m next. But it’s been 2 months since I’ve posed (I am so sorry!) and today was a day to celebrate.

When we left all the kids gave Annada, Marc and I a hug. I love our neighborhood!